What REALLY Happened
by Cerena Montanyu
Summary: What would happen if I was the star of Majora's Mask? Things would definately be very crazy, that's for sure... Includes two scenes in evey chapter. If you have any sanity, you will have sold it for some popcorn by the time you finish reading my fic, so p
1. Default Chapter

Cerena: I'm feeling very mad right now. I just realized that I have played through the entirity of Majora's Mask, and they didn't once mention me! I'll sue them! Or not... But anyway, this humor fic is about what would've happened in Majora's Mask if I was part of the game. You can probably imagine that things would get VERYYY crazy... And this is going to be chaptered. There are two scenes per chapter.  
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Majora's Mask Would Explode If I Was In The Game  
  
Scene 1: Cerena has fallen into the land of Termina, and she has met the terrible enemy of the game, Skull Kid. She automatically goes into attack position, and Skull Kid has turned her into a Deku Scrub. Or, that was the way the script was supposed to go...  
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Scene 1: What REALLY happened.  
  
Cerena: *falls into hole, and lands on lily pad facing Skull Kid* Wow... You are so cute... Wait a minute! The script says I have to fight him! NO FAIR!  
  
Director: You have to go along with the script! Nintendo will fire me if you don't!  
  
Cerena: What's your name?  
  
Skull Kid:....Skull Kid....  
  
Majora's Mask: IT'S MAJORA, YOU FOOL!  
  
Skull Kid: Skull Kid! Skull Kid, Skull Kid, Skull Kid!  
  
Majora's Mask: The script says Majora!  
  
Skull Kid: Oh really? I don't see your name on this script...  
  
Majora's Mask: IT'S BECAUSE THE IDIOTS THAT WROTE THIS SCRIPT sPELLED MY NAME WRONG!  
  
*Everybody minus Cerena stares at Skull Kid, who is seemingly arguing with himself*  
  
Skull Kid: I refuse to work with a mask that is verbally abusive!  
  
Majora's Mask: Well, maybe if you actually did your job right, I wouldn't have to beat you up!  
  
Skull Kid: DIE!!!  
  
Majora's Mask: NEVER!  
  
Cerena: *falls into dream mode, ignoring the fact that Skull Kid is choking himself, trying to choke the mask* What a hunky guy...  
  
Director: I'm long gone...  
  
Cerena: HEY! Skull Kid! Wanna go have a pizza?  
  
Skull Kid; Sure! All of this floating has made me hungry...  
  
Majora's Mask: What is this 'pizza' you idiot humans talk about? All day long on Friday, Skull Kid keeps saying "Yo! Pizza boy! I want a deep-dish pizza with BUGS on it! MWUAHAHA!' *shudders* It's so... evil... I feel the forces of the pizza calling to me...  
  
Tatl: PIZZA IS EVIL! IT'S BAD FOR YOU, AND CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEFS, PIZZA IS NOT GOOD COLD!  
  
Cerena: AACK!! IT'S A RABID NAVI IN DISGUISE! IT HAS COME TO HAUNT ME! AUGH!!!  
  
Tael: ...Boo!  
  
Cerena: AACK!! *faints*  
  
Skull Kid: You guys! I can't date her if she's dead!  
  
Majora's Mask: What a pity. She would've made a cute little Deku Scrub... *Makes Skull Kid poke Cerena with a Deku Stick, causing her to twitch*  
  
Director: CUT!! SOMEONE GET THE DOCTOR!   
  
*The doctor comes with a needle in his hand*  
  
Cerena: OH, THE AGONY! Hey! What does that button do? *Gets up, knocking the doctor over, and causing him to stick the needle into the director's...uh... behind. Cerena then pushes a red button repeatedly, causing the set to fall down* Oops...   
  
*The director advances towards Cerena with an axe in his hand*  
  
Director: You're FIRED!  
  
Cerena: Then who will you get to replace me? Link? *gags at the name*  
  
Link: *stumbles on* Yo, my homeys! What's the word? Cerena will not be able to resist my stunningly handsome good looks! Say, baby, how 'bout I pick you up at five?  
  
Cerena: How about you pick me up... NEVER IN YOUR PITIFUL, STUPID, USELESS LIFE?!?  
  
Link: Man, you don't have to be so cruel... *starts to sing 'Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely*  
  
Majora's Mask: STOP THE MUSIC! I HAVE AN ALLERGY TO MUSIC! I'm dying... I'm melting...oooh....Ahh... I'M COMIN' HOME, MOMMY! *pretends to die*  
  
Skull Kid: *pokes at the mask on his face* I'm glad he's dead. HE ATE ALL OF MY ICE CREAM! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?! A SKULL KID CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT HIS ICE-CREAM!!  
  
Director:...Can we please continue? I have kids at home. I cannot afford to lose my insanity, my wife will make me sleep on the couch,and I swear that's there is something living crawling in there!  
  
Cerena: Ok, just have to find the script... *ruffles through big pile of banana peels left by Donkey Kong when they filmed his game* Got it! Ok... It says here I have to...Alright! I'm ready!  
  
Director: Take 2!  
  
Cerena: *Looks at reflection in water, and shakes head, looking terrified* OH NO! I FORGOT TO PUT MY LUCKY BARRETTES ON!!  
  
Majora's Mask: I will turn you into a Deku Scrub!  
  
Cerena: SHUT UP!   
  
*Majora's Mask starts to shake his head at her, and Deku Scrubs start running at Cerena*  
  
Cerena: STAMPEDE! *Takes out Ice rod,and freezes the ugly little Deku Scrubs*  
  
*One VERY ugly Deku scrub starts to do the Hula, trying to make Cerena run so she can be turned into a Deku Scrub*  
  
Timon and Pumbaa: HEY!!! THAT'S OUR PART!  
  
*The duo chase after the terrified Deku Scrub, who trips and falls on the Big Goron, who is instantly killed. Or not.*  
  
Big Goron: Hey, Big Deku Scrub, wanna go out with me?  
  
*The two run away together to get married in Las Vegas. The camera pans to Cerena's back*  
  
Cerena: *swings her Fire-rod around, burning the camera man* Ho, hum. This Deku Scrub scene is awfully lame.  
  
Majora's Mask: YOU HAVE DEFIED ME!! THAT MEANS.... THAT I'LL BE TURNED INTO A RUBBER CHICKEN!! *forces Skull Kid to run away*  
  
Cerena: HEY! YOU SAID WE COULD GET A PIZZA!  
  
Skull Kid: Good idea! *rips off mask, and runs towards Cerena, but passes her and runs into Clock Tower* WHO GREASED THE FLOORS?!?!  
  
Majora's Mask:... Why did the script stick us together in the first place, if I could have caused all of that evil myself?  
  
Cerena: Duh! They stuck you on Skull Kid because you're ugly, and he's cute! No one loves an ugly   
villain!  
  
*Majora's Mask is picked up, and put on...LINK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! No DOUGHNUT IS SAFE BY THIS UGLY DUO!*  
  
Cerena: *stares hatefully at Link* I swear by my mighty Fire/Ice/Light rod that I WILL DEFEAT YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL! *rushes towards Link, brandishing her light-rod, which is actually a light-sabre*  
  
Link: You shall not defeat me that easily! *backflips just before Cerena is about to cut him to pieces, and disappears with an evil laugh*  
  
Cerena: .... I will get you... Even if it is the last thing I do...  
  
Director: CUT! Excellent scene! I think... We just have to do a LOT of editing... BUT THAT LAST SCENE WAS TERRIFIC!  
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Scene 2: Cerena has made a new ally... And a new terrible evil has arose. Cerena must now go through the Clock Tower, and meet the Happy Mask man. But of course, she has to screw everything up.  
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Cerena: *walks up set of stairs* What would happen if I fell down one of those holes that those shafts are turning in?  
  
Skull Kid: You fall in Teletubby land. And it's not pretty.  
  
*Cerena runs away screaming from the shafts, and bumps right into the Happy Mask Man*  
  
Happy Mask Man: You know, I'M TIRED OF BEING NICE!! *starts to wring Cerena's neck, but she torches him with her fire-rod, so he wrings Skull Kid's neck instead* I WANT MY MASK BACK! It was so pretty... I found it in a flea market for a nickel... It has evil powers! The evil spirit of my EVIL TWIN IS TRAPPED IN IT! FIND IT OR YOU DIE!! I'm hungryyyy...  
  
Cerena: Want a pizza?  
  
Happy Mask Man: I WANT PIZZA!  
  
Cerena: *turns out empty pockets* Anybody got any change?  
  
*Skull Kid shakes his head no, and the Happy Mask Man throws a mask at Cerena. We assume he meant no.*  
  
Cerena: We need some money! And I'm soooo hungry...  
  
Skull Kid: Oh, my tortured soul! I DIN'T HAVE ANY PIZZA LAST WEEK, BECAUSE MAJORA IS ALLERGIC!  
  
Happy Mask Man: Did someone say torture? *plays song of healing, singing very badly along with it* Be healed, be healed, be healed tortured soul. BE HEALED!  
  
Skull Kid: ALRIGHT! I'M HEALED ALREADY!  
  
Cerena: Do you think we can sell that phantom piano?  
  
*The Happy Mask Man throws a mask at her. We're still assuming he means no. It's either that, or 'GET ME SOME SODA, YOU FREAK!'*  
  
Cerena: ALRIGHT! I'M HEALED! Wait a minute... There are many unhappy people in Termina, right?  
  
Skull Kid: If there is one single happy person, you can eat me.  
  
Cerena: Well, that crazy guy's name does include 'happy'....  
  
Skull Kid: I was kidding! DON'T EAT ME!  
  
Cerena: We can charge twenty rupees for healing! They should be happy when they leave, 'cause the song has little hearts coming out of the mist when that crazy guy plays it...  
  
Skull Kid: Alright!  
  
*They set out a sign out front, saying 'All those in need of healing, come in! Admission: twenty ruppees. Unless you REALLY need healing. Then it's fifty rupees.'*  
  
Postman: I need you to heal my poor broken spirit!  
  
*The Happy Mask man plays the 'Song of Torture' for some crazy reason.*  
  
Postman: I'M NOT HEALED! I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU ARE FAKE!  
  
Cerena: BE HEALED! *Konks him on his head with her fire/ice/light rod*  
  
Postman: I'M HEALED!! HAHAHAHA!! I JUST REALIZED THAT I HATE MY JOB, AND THAT THE MAYOR IS A BAD MAYOR, CAUSE HE tOOK AWAY MY CONSTITUTION RIGHTS! POSTMAN FOR MAYOR! MWUAHAHA!  
  
*More people come in*  
  
Anju: I have leukemia!   
  
*Happy Mask Man plays 'Song of Broken Hearts'*  
  
Cerena: *realizes that Anju is not healed* BE HEALED! *konks her over the head with her fire/ice/it-takes-so-friggin-long-to-type-this-every-time-she-konks-some-one-light rod, forcing Anju to bend over*  
  
Anju: Ooh! Me like this position! *Anju runs off, bowing to everyone she meets. If you call putting your head so low that it's touching your knees bowing. That's why they put her behind a desk. If she goes too low, she ends up with a major head-ache*  
  
*Finally, after giving people several problems, they have enough money to buy a pizza.*  
  
Cerena: I want a double-cheese pizza!  
  
Skull Kid; With bugs on it!  
  
Happy Mask Man: And Bad Andy pieces on it!  
  
Director: WHAT THE HeLL JUST HAPPENED?!?! Oh well, we'll just force Cerena to help those demented people with their problems in a stupid notebook...  
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	2. Scenes 3-4

Cerena: Here is the next chapter! I knowm this is WAAAY different from the real Majora's Mask game. But this was the way it was supposed to go! Honest!  
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Majora's Mask Would Explode If I Was In The Game part 2  
  
Scene 3: Cerena walks out into Termina for the first time, and realizes that the moon is going to crash in three days. Or, it did. Did this game suddenly lose it's point?  
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Cerena: *finally push the doors open, realizing that they were there after wandering around for three days.* AAHHH!! IT'S TOO BRIGHT!  
  
---Day 1-----  
-72 hours remain-  
  
Skull Kid: What's with the cheap special effects? *blows dart at the sign, and the sign falls down, falling on top of the Great Fairy, shattering her into little pieces*  
  
Cerena: One annoying character down, a million more to go.. *sighs*   
  
Tatl: Hey! Look at that moon!  
  
Cerena: AAAAAAHHH!! BAD FAIRY! EVIL FAIRY! I'LL CALL MY LAYWER IF YOU DON'T DIE!!  
  
*Tatl dissapears, courtesy of Cerena's fire-rod*  
  
Director: Cut!   
  
Cerena: EVIL! EEEEEVIL!!!!  
  
Director: We need some one to be your guide! It has to be Tatl!  
  
Cerena: NOOOOOOO! *sobs* Why can't the cute Skull Kid be my...fairy...  
  
Director: Why not? Everything else is screwed in this game, why not the fairy?  
  
*Costume person whisks away Skull Kid, and he suddenly appears next to Cerena.....*  
  
Cerena: *Stares at Skull Kid* You have a tutu on.  
  
Skull Kid: *Filing his nails* WHHHAAAT!!! YOU JUST SAID THAT YOU WERE GONNA MAKE ME TINY!! I'M nOT WEARING A FREAKY TUTU!!!  
  
Costume Person: I QUIT!!!!! *Storms away, then comes back and tears the tutu off of Skullkid* Crazy people..  
  
Director: Oh,what a day. Nintendo is NOT gonna like this. TAKE 2!  
  
Skull Kid: Link has caused a lot of evil around here, namely stealing everyone's doughnuts on the set...  
  
Cerena; *whispering* I thought you caused the evil, before Link came along! The only evil he did was to steal OUR DOUGHNUTS!!!  
  
Skull Kid: HEY!!! I DISAGREE WITH THE SCRIPT!!  
  
Director: Which is exactly why you screwed it up. Screw it up some more or you're FIRED!!!   
  
Skull Kid: *yells to director* FINE!!! *Yells to Cerena* I... I mean, LINK MADE THE MOON COME DOWN!!!  
  
Cerena: *Hesitantly looks up, and a BIG scary moon is... GRINNING AT HER!!* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-  
  
Director: Will she ever stop?  
  
Skull Kid: Nope.  
  
Cerena: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *takes BIG breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! HOLY COW!!!  
  
Cow: Mooooo *Jumps over the Moon, who is, by the way, STILL grinning...at Cerena... Oh, the horrors...*  
  
Moon: Hey, Hero!  
  
Link+ Cerena: WHAT?!?  
  
Moon: Cerena, would you like to go out with me? *winks*  
  
Cerena: *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* NO WAY!!!!!!  
  
*Cerena takes hold of the huge cow that is jumping over the moon,and throws it at the Moon*  
  
Cerena: DIE!!!!!   
  
Moon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT DEATH BY COW!!! *shatters into a million pieces*  
  
Cerena+Skull Kid: ... Did we just finish the game?...  
  
Director: CUT! CUT, CUT,CUT!!! SOMEONE FIX THE MOON, NOW!!!   
  
Moon-Fixer: We will have to get someone to replace him. Link ate all of the cheese that the Moon was made out of.  
  
Director: FINE!! REPLACE HIM!!!  
  
Moon-Fixer: *summons, and guess who takes the place of the Moon? Cerena's worst nightmare. No,not green jello, but...*  
  
Moon: *squeals* Oh,Link!! You're so CUUUUUTE!!! *Stares at Cerena, who takes out her Light-rod/sabre* Oh, Your fairy is so CYUUUTE!! Will he go out with me?  
  
SkullKid: *Expands to original size, falling out of the sky* WHO THE *bleep* IS THAT?!?!   
  
Cerena: The Dark Side.  
  
Moon: No, no, silly! I'm Princess Zelda! Oh, why am I coming down? WAIT, WAIT YOU BIG MORONS!!! PEOPLE CAN SEE MY UNDERWEAR!!!  
  
Big Gorons: *Zelda was close to actually pronouncing their names right* YOUR HEAD IS THE MOON,YOU GO- MORON!!!  
  
Cerena: *Runs around ina big circle, screaming* AAH! AAH! AHH! AHH! AHH! I HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE UGLY ZELDA-MOON!  
  
Director: *Sighs* CUT!That's all we're gonna do for this scene. On to scene 4.  
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Scene 4: After exploring the town, Cerena realizes that she only has three days to save the world. Otherwise, she gets made into a pancake.But she'll probably get made into a pancake anyway, because she doesn't have an ocarina.  
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Director: TAKE 1!  
  
Cerena: Hey, Skull kid, do you remember how the Song of Time goes?  
  
Skull Kid:Sure,hang on a minute... *Empties his pockets of string, rupees,fake mice, a bazooka thingie, a blue ocarina, more string, lint, and a wooden flute.* Oops, I forgot to give this back to Link... You have it! *thrusts the Ocarina at Cerena*  
  
Cerena: *Falls into dream-mode again* HE GAVE ME SOMETHING!! I'LL TREASURE IT FOREVER, AND EVER! *Faints*  
  
Skull Kid: *sighs* Not again... *Waves some green jello over Cerena*  
  
Cerena: *Awakes* DIE, EVIL GREEN JELLO! YOU MADE ME HAVE THE FLU! *Throws the Ocarina at the jello, then plays the Song of Time for no reason* Uh, Oh... I'M FALLING! SAVE ME! *Jumps onto SkullKid* SAVE ME FROM THE EVIL WHITE THING!  
  
*The two warp back into the first day,and that annoying sign thing once again appears*  
  
---Day 1---  
-72 hours remain-  
  
*Cerena looks up, and jumps onto Skull Kid again after seeing the Evil Zelda moon*  
  
Director: CUT!!! I'M NOT DOING THAT SCENE AGAIN! MOVING ON!  
  
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*Somewhere, in the last time stream, Link is waiting for Cerena*  
  
Link: Dude, when is that cute girl gonna show up?  
  
Majora's Mask: SHUT UP!! As long as we have the Ocarina of Time, she'll come!  
  
Link: ... Ocarina? I thought you had it!  
  
Majora's Mask: I thought you had it!  
  
Link: Dude, I-  
  
Majora's Mask; STOP CALLING ME DUDE! IT'S EEEVIL!! EEEVIL, I TELL YOU!   
  
Link: Whatever. I thought you and Skull Kid-  
  
Majora's Mask: WE ARE DOOOOMED!!  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Majora's Mask: BECAUSE SKULL KID HAS IT, AND HE'S GONNA GIVE IT TO THAT REALLY CUTE- I mean annoying- GIRL!!!  
  
Zelda-moon: OH, LINKIE PIE! It'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME!!!  
  
Link: *hangs his head* Yes, Mother...  
  
*Majora's Mask faints at the horror. Not that Zelda is Link's mother, at what happened next*  
  
Everybody from Termina: DO THE MACARINA OF TIME!!!  
  
Link: OH YEAH!  
  
Everybody minus Majora's Mask: HEEEEY! Macarina!  
  
*Everybody dissapears into the freaky white mist of time, and Link with Majora's Mask on appears in front of Cerena, who has jumped onto Skull Kid, and is yelling "The moon must be made of GREEN JELLO!"*  
  
Majora's Mask: YESS!! I CAN FINALLY KILL THAT CUTE GIRL!!   
  
*Link takes out his sword, but Cerena and Skull Kid have dissapeared*  
  
Link: Dude. I thought they didn't know the Song of Soaring?  
  
*They both look up, and the crazy town people are still doing the Macarina of Time. I'm gonna have nightmares tonight*  
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Cerena: Yup. I'm very crazy,crazy, crazy, crazy... *starts to bounce off the walls like a rubber ball* please review! Tell me if you want more! 


	3. Scenes 5-6

Cerena: MORE, MORE, MORE!!! I LIKE MORE!!! I NO LIKE GREEN JELLO! REVIEW, IF YOU PLEASE, SIL VOU PLAIT, COME AND STAY.... When the moon hits your eye like a bright pizza pie, that's... AMORE!!! MORE MORE AMORE!!  
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What REALLY Happened  
  
Scene 5: Now that Cerena has a means by which to save her game, she sets out to find how to keep the moon from crashing into the earth. She discovers Woodfall Temple! (All too easily, if you ask me...)   
  
Cerena: SHUT UP! *Throws a pizza at the script-writer*  
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Directer: Scene 5, take 1! Cerena, please don't screw this up... Just follow the script, and you'll be fine...  
  
Cerena: *yawns* Fine.  
  
Skull Kid: SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!! CERENA DIDN'T MAKE A CRACK AT THE DIRECTOR!!  
  
Director: Thank god...   
  
*Gets hit in the head by a rocket sent by Din saying 'Sexist!'*  
  
Director: I mean, thank goddess...  
  
*Gets hit in the head by a rock sent by Fayore saying 'You Can't Count!'*  
  
Director: OK! Stop hitting me, I'll explode! Then I can't direct this scene!  
  
*Gets hit in the head by a grasshopper sent by Nayru saying 'Oops, I did it again...'*  
  
Director: Oh, lord- I MEAN GODDESSES!! *Explodes*  
  
Cerena: *mumbles sleepily, and without emotion* Oh, no. Who is going to replace the director. *falls asleep on the ground*  
  
Barney: Hiya, friends! Someone said I could direct a scene! Oh-boy,oh-boy!  
  
Everyone minus Cerena: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!  
  
Barney: Hey! Why is everybody running? I WUUUUUUUV YOOOOOOU!  
  
Cerena: *Snore*  
  
Skull Kid: *picks Cerena up and accidently throws her onto the set*  
  
Barney: What's my line again? Where's my cue card?  
  
Barbie: Right here, handsome!  
  
Everyone: WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!!  
  
Barney: Would you mind reading that for me? I can't read.  
  
Barbie: Sure, ya stupid thing. It says 'Action!'  
  
Cerena: *Jolts awake* Alright already! *Is completely oblivious to the fact that Barney and Barbie have taken over the game* *Walks through Clock Town* Hey, what's wrong?  
  
Skull Kid: I don't know... BARNEY AND BARBIE ARE JUST BEHIND YOU!! RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! In other news... *looks at script* Blah-Blah-Blah-Ya-hafta-go... THAT WAY!!!  
  
Cerena: Sure...Whatever... *Stumbles sleepily out of the inn where she is staying, and falls off the roof* How did I get up here?  
  
Skull Kid: Did you stay up all night?  
  
Cerena: *sleepily* I was throwing green jello at the Zelda-moon.... *walks into a guard that is blocking her, but she doesn't notice*  
  
Guard: Hey! Hey! Hey!  
  
Cerena: *jolts awake* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-   
  
*Skull Kid places his hand over her mouth*  
  
Guard: Do you have a sword? I don't see a sword. If you don't have a sword, you cannot pass. Do you have a sword?  
  
Cerena: Wha- *Snores*  
  
Skull Kid: Ummm... Be right back...  
  
*Skull Kid runs somewhere, then falls down a hole after being chased by a rabid Deku Stick*  
  
Barney: Oh boy, oh boy!  
  
Cerena: *Without emotion* Shut up before Tsutae calls security... *Snore*  
  
*Skull Kid comes back with a lumpy cow under his arm.*  
  
Skull Kid: HEY! STOP EDITING THE SCRIPT!!  
  
Dee-Dee: Ooh... What does this button do? *Pushes green button, which dumps a load of green jello on Cerena.*  
  
Skull Kid: RUN!! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!  
  
*Cerena wakes up for a minute, yawns, and goes back to sleep*  
  
Guard: Been drinking too much coffee?  
  
Barney: I OBJECT! Sir, I'm not comfortable with the word 'coffee'....  
  
Skull Kid: Um.. What's that word...  
  
Cerena: *Without emotion* Access denied.  
  
Skull Kid: Yeah. Whatever she said.  
  
Barney: I OBJECT! Cow, I'm not comfortable with the word 'denied', it's not suitable for our young viewers. *Passes out new scripts*  
  
Skull Kid: I OBJECT!!!  
  
Barney: DO THE MELONY SCRIPT OR... or... *Picks up sleeping Cerena* I WILL CONTROL HER!!  
  
Cow: *Whispering to Skull Kid* Barney and Cerena? No one can survive that...  
  
Skull Kid: *Stikes dramatic pose* FOR THE SAKE OF... THE SLEEPY-HEAD, I WILL BE STUPID!   
  
Barney: You're not stupid. BE STUPID!  
  
Skull Kid: *Thinks for a minute*  
  
Barney: Stupid people can't think.  
  
SKull Kid: *Starts to drool* Duh... Nope! Duh... NOPE!  
  
Cerena: *Wakes up*   
  
Skull Kid: YOU'RE ALIVE!!!  
  
*Barney approaches Cerena*  
  
Skull Kid: I mean... Duh... Nope!  
  
*Cerena looks around. Everything has been spray painted pink, and the guard is now wearing paper bunny ears and hopping like a rabbit. Anju is pretending she's a dog, and Kafei is sitting in his room eating paste.*  
  
Cerena: I don't like.  
  
Barney: DO THE SCRIPT!!  
  
Cerena: FINE!! *Turns to Skull Kid and starts speaking in a high-pitched voice* Oh! The Bad Man has taken over the Moon! Who shall save us?  
  
*Barney jumps on the set wearing a super man costume*  
  
Barney: NEVER FEAR! Super-Barney is here!  
  
*Cerena runs away, screaming*  
  
Barney: Awww... YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!! JETSON, YOU'RE FIRED!  
  
Jetson: AAwww man! I can't even be a janitor in the twenty-first century!  
  
Barney: I OBJECT! Moon, Jetson is too naughty to be in my show! CERENA, YOU'RE FIRED!  
  
*Cerena's long gone. Either that or she's long asleep*  
  
Barney: Dee-Dee, you are now the hero!  
  
Skull Kid: For the love of God.. *Get's evil look* Duh... NOPE!  
  
Dee-Dee: Oh, Dexter!  
  
Skull Kid: IT'S SKULL KID YOU NINCOMPOOP!!!  
  
Dee-Dee: What's a nincompoop?   
  
Skull Kid: *Says darkly* Something bad.  
  
Dee-Dee: Dexter, what does this button do?  
  
Skull Kid: IT'S SKULL KID! AND DON'T TOUCH THAT!!  
  
*Dee-Dee, of course, pushes the button, and a flaming mallet hits Barney on the head*  
  
(To Script Writers: I rigged it. But don't tell Barney! Signed: Crazy-In-The-Head)  
  
Barney: CUT!!! Skull Kid, I'm not comfortable with the word 'Skull'. It's too scary for our young viewers. We shall have to give you another name..  
  
Skull Kid:.... YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH MY NAME?!?! WHAT KIND OF BIG, LUMPY, PURPLE COW ARE YOU?!?!  
  
Dee-Dee: Dexter! Don't be so mean to the director, 'cause he's so CYUUUUUTE!!!  
  
Barbie: BACK OFF! This one's mine!  
  
Dee-Dee: I saw him first!  
  
Barbie: I did!  
  
Dee-Dee: No, I DID!  
  
Barney: Don't worry, lovely ladies! There's enough of Barney for everyone to have!  
  
*Skull Kid has gone off somewhere to barf*  
  
Barney: COME BACK!! You don't have any girlfriends what-so-eva!  
  
Skull Kid: Oh, yeah?  
  
Barney: YEAH!  
  
Skull Kid: Are you ready for the truth?  
  
Crazy-In-The-Head: I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!  
  
(Dear Script Writers: Please cut that last part out)  
  
Script Writers: AS IF!  
  
Skull Kid: Anyway, I have... *mumbles to self* Let's see... Cerena, of course, that's one.... Chica1388 is another, that's two... PikaCheeka was one of the first... that's three... DekuGirl is yet another.... and... and...  
  
Barney: Hah! You only have four!  
  
Dumb Girls: AAAHH! IT'S SKULL KID! MARRY US!  
  
Script Writers: How the hell did they get in?!?  
  
{Through me. The Master of Destiny.}  
  
Barney: What-eva! So... STOP CALLING YOURSELF SKULL KID! Your name is... PINK FLUFFY BUNNY!  
  
Pink Fluffy Bunny: OH! THE HORROR! I SHALL MELT! I SHALL DIE! I SHALL EXPLODE!! ANYTHING BUt...*Shudders* BUNNIES!  
  
*Pink Fluffy Bunny is repeatedly ramming his head into the wall.*  
  
Dee-Dee: *Sees a mysterious red button* Oooh... WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO?!?  
  
*Because of Dee-Dee's stupidity, Termina goes up in flames. Pink Fluffy Bunny and Dee-Dee are thrown out of Clock Town*  
  
Random Monster: *Sings, to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb* Dee-Dee and the Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit! Dee-Dee and the Pink Fluffy Rabbit... AND THEY THREW THEM OUT THE WINDOW, THE WINDOW, THEY THREW THEM OUT THE WINDOW! Dee-Dee and the Rabbit... AND THEY THREW THEM OUT THE WINDOW!  
  
Script Writers: *Curtain falls down, and the script writers are actually Kids!* NOOOOOO!  
  
Barney: Who put in a stupid thing like that?!  
  
Script Writer 1: It's smarter than you! So there! *Sticks out tongue*  
  
Barney: YOU'RE FIRED!  
  
Script Writer 2: *Takes out cell phone* Mommy, I'm fired AGAIN!  
  
{So now there's no script. YES! I am in control!}  
  
Barney: WHO ARE YOU?!?  
  
{MEWTWO!}  
  
Pink Fluffy Rabbit: AND I'M MEW! *Turns into a pink cat* HEY!! This is a CHEAP MEW COSTUME!  
  
[Deal with it. Since I am in control, everything is in my power!]  
  
Pink Cat: (If you're getting confused, it's Skull Kid) DUH! What was your teacher, mud?   
  
Mysterious Person: (As if we don't have enough already...) STOP CALLING SKULL KID PINK FLUFFY RABBIT!  
  
Barney: He's called Pink Cat now!  
  
Mysterious Person: ... HIS NAME'S DOTORU!   
  
SKull Kid: IS NOT!  
  
Mysterious Person: IS TOO!  
  
SKull Kid: IS NOT! IS NOT, IS NOT! *Sends beam of light at Mysterious Person*  
  
Beam: Uh! I...can't....reach...her.... *Gets kicked by Cere- I MEAN MYSTERIOUS PERSON!*  
  
Skull Kid: Hah! ....Wait... CERENA?!?  
  
Cerena: *Flips onto ground, and lands on her back* ITAI! Prepare for... Fury!  
  
Skull Kid: And please hurry...  
  
Cerena: To protect the world from stupidity!  
  
SKull Kid: pidity, midity, shidity, kidity... I DON'T KNOW WHAT RHYMES WITH STUPIDITY!  
  
Barney: PREPARE FOR THE ULTIMATE WEAPON!! I love you... You love me...  
  
*Fortunately, Cerena has once again fallen asleep. Or is that a good thing?*  
  
{Hmmm, Watson, I would think not}  
  
*Shut up. Anyway... Barney's singing creates a beam, which blasts Barney & friends back to their own dimension, and blasts Cerena & friends onto the roof of WoodFall temple*  
  
Script Writer: Ever get the feeling that Cerena has a game shark?  
*******************************************************************************************  
  
Scene 6: After completely bypassing everything, Cerena goes into the temple and rescues the princess. Or not.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Cerena: It says in the script that I have to rescue the Deku Princess!  
  
Director. Yeah. So?  
  
Cerena: I WANNA BE THE PRINCESS! I WANNA BE THE PRINCESS!  
  
Director: NO! Who would rescue you?  
  
Skull Kid: *walks onto the set* I CAN'T GET THIS PINK HAIR DYE OUT OF MY HAIR!  
  
Cerena: *Points to Skull Kid* Him.  
  
Skull Kid: *Sees the looks that the Director and Cerena are giving him* Oh, no you're not. OH, no I'm not... I REFUSE TO BE A BUNNY!  
  
Director: No.  
  
Cerena: *Jumping up and down* BUT I WANNA! I WANNA, WANNA, WANNA!  
  
Skull Kid: Hold your hand?   
  
Cerena: NO! *Bashes Skull Kid over the head with her rod*  
  
Director: No. You absolutely may not. Now, be a good girl and go rescue the real princess.  
  
Cerena: *Stomps off sulking* But I WANNA!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
*A mysterious figure enters the prison with the Deku Princess in it*  
  
Deku Princess: Hey! You! Get me out of here, or I'll make my father kill you!  
  
Mysterious Figure: YOU DARE ARGUE WITH DEATH?!?!  
  
Deku Princess: And if you're going out, get me some Doritos!  
  
Death: I have come to take you, Brat-cess...  
  
Deku Princess: *Yelling* Securi- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
*Apparently, The Deku Princess is afraid of mexican jumping beans.*  
  
Death: I TOLD you, but you just wouldn't listen! YOU SHALL PAY!!! *Pushes Deku Princess off the cliff*  
  
Deku Princess: CLICHE!  
  
Cerena: Not really. *Cerena high-fives Death, who is now ranting about how Dick Cheney should be laying off the cheese and gravy after his eighth heart attack*  
  
Crown: I now crown you... PRINCESS OF CLICHES!!!  
  
Cerena: Yay! *singing* We all live in a dark leafy thing, dark leafy thing...   
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Skull Kid: Where's Cerena?  
  
Director: And... ACTION!!!  
  
Skull Kid: Uh... *Gives a small wave* Apparently Cerena thinks it's coffee break again...  
  
Princess Cerena: NO I DON'T! *Kicks Skull Kid*  
  
Skull Kid: AAAAAAAAAAAH! *Lands on a torch in the Woodfall Temple* HOT! HOT! HOT! AAAHHH!  
  
Princess Cerena: *Pretends to be captured* AH! Help me! LEGGO OF ME, YOU DEFORMED PLANT! *Slashes Deku Baba in half* Oops... Princesses don't have swords... *Tosses sword, which lands on top of Skull Kid's head* *Dissapears*  
  
Skull Kid: AAHHH! *Goes flying off the torch, and lands on the big flower thing in the middle*  
  
Evil Link: HEY!! You're supposed to have the bow-thingie!  
  
Dee-Dee: OOOH! *Prances around with the Fariy's bow, and starts shooting bows at random*  
  
*The big flower now starts to rise and spin*  
  
Majora: I suddenly have the desperate need to eat some Sweet&Low... *Dissapears*  
  
Skull Kid: Dizzy... AHHH! *The flower spun really fast, tossing Skull Kid into the room with the Gecko and the Snapper* Nice turtlie, good froggie... AAH! RUN!  
  
Turtle: We don't get paid enough for this, frog!  
  
Frog: I got paid more money as a beer-drinking frog!  
  
Turtle + Frog: WE QUIT! *Storms through the wall and fall into the darkness* WAIT! WE TAKE IT BACK!  
  
Skull Kid: This is WAAAY too easy!   
  
*A chest plops onto Skull Kid's head*  
  
Skull Kid: Where is that aspirin when you need it?  
  
*Aspirin falls onto Skull Kid's head*   
  
Skull Kid: Grr.. *Opens the chest, which is empty because Dee-Dee took the bow that was supposed to be in there* Why me? *Walks back into the main room*  
  
Big Spinning Flower: Jinkies!  
  
Skull Kid: *testing the water with his toe, which is then bitten by Jabu-Jabu* Hey! How did he get in here- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
*Jabu-Jabu eats the Big Spinning Flower*  
  
Skull Kid: This is crazy... (Sees all of the locked doors) Keys? That's for amateurs. I MORPH THERE!! MWUAHAH- *Jabu-Jabu is glaring threatenly at him* Gulp... *Transports in front of the Boss Door* Grr... It's guarded by magic... CERENA!!!  
  
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*Princess Cerena is busy playing Ocarina of Time, and is enjoying making Link repeatedly die, and making him do stupid things*  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Skull Kid: I was afraid it would come to this... *Takes out a... HAIRPIN!* Behold the power of... PICKLOCKING!!!   
  
  
*Three hours later*  
  
Skull Kid: Urrk... Grunt... HAH! *The lock falls off and tries to bite Skull Kid* Down boy! FETCH!  
  
Boss Lock: ARF!! *Runs away, trying to catch those ugly temple fairies*  
  
Skull Kid: The boss shouldn't be a problem,for I put him there... Odowla is soooo easy.  
  
*Skull Kid opens the door, and.. Surprise!*  
  
Darth Vader: *Wheezing* Skull Kid... Join me...  
  
Skull Kid: No thanks...  
  
Darth Vader: Do you DARE to defy your destiny?  
  
Skull Kid: Do you DARE to defy your destiny?  
  
Darth Vader: I said it first!  
  
Skull Kid: I said it first!  
  
Darth Vader: STOP IT!  
  
Skull Kid: STOP IT!!  
  
*Darth Vader turns on his lightsaber, and corners Skull Kid*  
  
Darth Vader: Hah! Any last words?  
  
Skull Kid: Yeah, just four. And I'll make a bet with you.  
  
Darth Vader: *suspiciously* What?  
  
Skull Kid: You'll blow yourself up if my four words make you scream.  
  
Darth Vader: And if I don't, you'll eat green jello for the rest of your life! You're on!  
  
Skull Kid: *A crazed look appears on Skull Kid's face, and he drops his voice to a low whisper* I.. see.......  
  
Darth Vader: You see WHAT?!? I'm not afraid of anything!  
  
Skull Kid: *swallows* I see dead people.  
  
Darth Vader: Hah! Dead people aren't scary at all- DEAD people?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT WA-WA, MY DEAD HAMSTER! WAAAAAAAH!! *Self destructs*  
  
Skull Kid: That was close, wasn't it Wa-Wa?  
  
Wa-Wa: *Winks* He keeps forgetting I'm not his hamster.  
  
Princess Cerena: *Yelling* SAVE ME ALREADY!!!  
  
Skull Kid: You're saved!  
  
Princess Cerena: *Giggles* No, silly! You have to carry me out!  
  
Skull Kid: Why me? *Walks towards the dark leafy thing where Princess Cerena is*  
  
Princess Cerena: BOO! *Jumps out with Odowla's mask on, scares Skull Kid half to death, and he jumps out of surprise into the blue portal while holding Cerena.*  
  
Cerena: Where are we?  
  
Skull Kid: I dunno, but these bubbles are fun to pop!  
  
Cerena: *Jumps into Skull Kid's arms, pointing at a triangular blob* WHAT'S THAT?!?  
  
Skull Kid: *Squinting* It's either a deformed cow, or a giant.  
  
Cerena: *Looking at script* It's supposed to be a giant, and it's gonna say something important to us.  
  
*The two stare expectantly at the giant, which is eating cheese fondue*  
  
Giant: NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!!!  
  
Skull Kid: *Sarcastically* Well that was extremely important...  
  
Giant: Uh, I mean, *Straightens up, and starts to play the Oath To Order on a squeaky fiddle* Must....SQUEAK!.... Save......... SQUEAK! ...... Other....... Giants..... SQUAUK! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!!!  
  
*Cerena and Skull Kid are tossed onto the set*  
  
Director: And cut! Where were you guys?  
  
Deku Princess: There she is! GET HER!!!  
  
Cerena: AAACK!! *Runs on top of the clock tower, where the towns people are STILL doing the Macarena of Time*  
  
********************************************************************************************  
  
Cerena: MWUAHAH!! Stay tuned for chapter four, and please review!  



End file.
